Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Keeping record

At church we are encouraged to keep record, to journal. Over the last twelve months I have been encouraged by friends and family to blog to keep this record of my family. To be able to look back on and see how far we have come. To see the up and downs and know that it is all part of the journey. It has been wonderful to be able to write, to get the crazies out of my head, to be able to write the story behind a photo.

Today my friends which have encouraged me so much, say good bye to a loved one. It is now that I can see the importance of keeping a family record, so when our memories fade from our minds, when life gets busy and we can't see the happiness through the clouds all we need to do is reflect on our family or personal journal to be reminded of the sunshine that always shines after a storm.

I always have a camera with me and Dave calls me Paparazzi, even he one day will be happy that I have kept a family record. For Christmas this year the girls went shopping with Grandma and Grandpa to buy me a Christmas Present. Monique gave me a photo of herself in a frame. Poppy gave me a journal and a pen. They thought of these gifts themselves, even the girls know the importance of keeping record of our lives and I love they knew I would love these gifts.

I kept a journal after my brother Kai past away and at some time I threw it away. I wish I had it now, not so I could relive the pain but so I could look at the memories which I was reflecting on after his passing. To know the words to the poem that I read at his funeral.
To keep the memories alive forever.....

Saturday, January 28, 2012

How could you live after the loss of your soul mate

On Thursday night Dave answered the phone, it was late and you know when you get a call late at night it is either bad news or family. Well this was bad news. All I can hear is him saying Lisa's Husband has died. What What are you talking about. I quickly grab the phone it is Chrish.

In October last year I wrote a tribute to the King Family (Lisa, Aaron and their 4 boys) when their son Noah passed away.  I've come to know the King's through Chrish, Lisa is his sister. Lisa and I have spoken via the computer and she is such a lovely person and so supportive of others.  You can read all about The Kings here and how they live and breath family. 

I can not even put into words what has happened so I will use Lisa's
"Friday, 27 January 2012And then there were four

We are home from our holiday down at St Helens early unfortunately because my heart is breaking as Aaron passed away after 9 pm last night. I'm numb and feel physically sick and can't believe it. It looks like he suffered a heart attack. I know his heart was so sad after losing Noah and I'm sure that had something to do with it, but I also know that in many ways he was prepared to go now and has hard as it is to believe, it was his time to go.
My family was with me and thank goodness they were because I needed them last night, more than I've needed anything before. They gave me so much strength and without them there I know it would've been so much worse."

Chrish was in Tassie for holidays and here is his blog about his last day with Aaron one of his best friends.

It is all so tragic, Lisa now faces raising her boys as a single mum, her boys now face dealing with the grief of lossing Noah and their Dad within 3 months. It is all so hard to get your head around how much the lives of this family have changed so much in such a short period of time. How do they keep Aaron's memory alive?

If you would like to help the family in any way please find information here King Family Donations
This has been set up by another blogger and fellow Latter Day Saint. Please share this blog with others and know that this family is very much deserving of any support that can be given.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

A window in your mouth

A Blog Post from Monique.

How  I   got  my  tooth  out?
I  bite  my  tooth  on  my  pillow, and twisted, it  hurt  a  little.I  looked  funny  I  laughed.I  pulled  it  out  myself.I  had  another  wobbly  tooth  and  its  really  wobbly.the  tooth  fairy  came  and  gave  me  a  gold  coin.but  she  didn,t  take  the  tooth.I  liked  having  wobbly  teeth  and  it  was  really  funny  having  wobbly  teeth  and  it  was  fun.  the  end

Friday, January 20, 2012

Seven Weeks - I'm growing so fast

My mum has had to put away the first 0000 sized jumpsuit, I'm sure she shed a little tear when she put it away knowing that there will be no more babies in our house wearing it. But hey Mum pull it together I'm seven weeks old, most babies are out of that size within a couple of weeks!

My sister Poppy made me a flower necklace.


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My baby is going to School

Poppy has been my baby for so long it now seems strange for her to be about to start school. She is younger then what Monique was when she started and maybe not as ready to go to school. Or am i just trying to holding onto my baby for a little bit longer. Poppy is very creative and has a tendency to not listen or to argue her opinion when she is asked to do anything. I'm sure all of these traits will serve her well when she is an adult.  It will be interesting how she goes at school. I predict that she will be very social, maybe not so academic as her sister. We definately won't have a problem leaving her at school on the first day, she is likely to find a friend and be sending us away.

This week being the week before school starts its practice week. We practice getting up in the morning on time, eating breakfast, having a bath, getting hair done, clothes on (in our practice runs I don't make them wear their uniforms) and be standing at the front door ready to leave the house as if we were going to go to school. On Monday we practiced up to getting dressed without their hair being done and today we practiced it all including the walk to school.

The girls think I'm a little crazy and they have even realised that not all kids do this, to this I answer 'Oh well, come on we have to get moving we are going to be late for school'.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Pity Party

After a few weeks of living in my own Pity Party, I'm glad to say that the party is over.

I'm over feeling sorry for myself that I'm not able to drive, I'm over the fact that I have to take medication until we can work out what is going on. Yeah it is a pain to not be able to drive, it has been a month already and as much as it is a pain for me it is also a pain for Dave. He now has to drive me and the girls everywhere. He has to do all the shopping, all the medical appointments, all the swimming lessons, all the birthday present buying, all the little things which I just do without even having to discuss with him. I think this not driving is going to end up being more of a pain for him then it is for me.

I'm ready to just get on with it. We are at the start of a new year, school goes back in a week, Dave is back to work this week. It is time to start afresh and start the new year with a smile on my face and a go get them attitude.

Cheers to the end of the Pity Party an a happy New Year with a smile.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

My Bestie

This week I have enjoyed two days with my bestie, it was awesome to just be able to relax at home and catch up. It was also nice to see her little man again, he is so cute and the squeals of delight when the girls played with him were wonderful. I look forward to hearing those same sounds as Josephine grows.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Remember the whale

The toll of a month off work and the girls being off school since the start of December is coming to a head. We are all at breaking point and are counting down the days until school starts and the routine gets back to 'normal'. We have dealt with the whinging and complain and we have had enough. How do you teach your children to be thankful for what they have. How do we teach our children that we are serious and have had enough of the shouting and complaining of 'Its not fair'.

Rip the spout off a whale to show them. Actions speak louder then words. In a moment of desperation the spout of whale got ripped off to tell the girls we have had enough and we are the parents, we have control and they will listen. Sounds a bit harsh but it worked and now all we have to say is 'REMEMBER THE WHALE'

Although the whale is Poppy's both girls where in tears when the whale got hurt. Monique through tear stained eyes said 'its not a whale any more, its a dolphin', to this Dave and I have to hold back the laughter.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Five Weeks Old

I was going to write about my first four weeks but we have been so busy that I'm a little late. So much has been happening, My Mum and Dad and my sisters have been showering me with love. I really don't need to cry much to get some attention. I have them trained well. At the moment my favourite thing to do is eat, after a slow start Mummy and I now have the hang of it and I'm packing on the weight.

Here's some photos of the first four weeks, enjoy them as I change so much especially now that I'm putting on weight.


Friday, January 6, 2012

Sunny Days - The Arrival

So before I forget in my haze of lack of sleep I want to go back to the 2nd of December and remember the birth of Josephine. It was pretty much like the other kids in regards to how long it was and the pain. Why oh why do we keep going back for more. It is only when that pain hits again that you actually remember what it was like. For me it is usually at this point when I start to beg for pain relief. They reassure me that I'm nearly there and can only give me gas which does nothing but make me want to vomit.

Let me start back on the 1st December when we had an appointment with Prof, I took backup with me I was ready for him to go back on his promise that our goal was to get to 37 weeks. The back up was more to console me when he told me 'Lets just try for another week'. I was so thankful when he said lets do an internal and see where we are at and discuss the plan to bring this baby into the world. Butterflies, tears streaming down my face, this is actually going to happen.

Thankyou body for doing  what you do best and being ready to go. I was 36 weeks & 6 days and 4cm dilated. I hadn't even felt a contraction. Lucky me!!!
Those happy words ' Lets get this baby out', where like the wind had been taken out of me, the relief, this is actually going to happen. As I had been prepared to be told to wait another week I was so excited and then had no idea when the induction would actually happen. Prof rang Delivery and said ' I know you guys are busy over the weekend, can be book it in for this afternoon or tomorrow morning'
This is is going to happen

The induction was started at 9am on Friday 2 December. As my labour are normaly quick being induced was no different. I'm not one of these women that have contractions 20 minutes apart, they start with a bang at 5 minutes apart and just get more and more intense. With Monique, Poppy & Riley I delivered within 3 hr or just over 3 hrs and Josephine was the same.

I won't go into the nitty gritty of the labour because frankly who wants to know and I sure don't want to relive some elements of it. There where however a few things which helped me through this labour and kept the fear of losing her away.
1. Monitors, I was wired up so that she could be monitored. We had a probe on her head and then I also had the things on my tummy, they were not taking any chances

2. Birth Plan, I have always laughed at women that write a birth plan, I think every labour is different and you don't know what you are going to get so just go with the flow and then you won't be disappointed. Now this is just my opinion but these women that harp on about having a disappointing birth experience. I want to say to them "GET REAL, you got a baby at the end of it didn't you". But this time I wrote a birth plan. It included a description of all of our kids, their names and their interests so that the midwifes could distract me if need be.

The most important information that I included was this:
Riley (Boy) born Feb 16, 2010 – still born at 31 weeks due to Feto Maternal Hemorrhage

I presented to the hospital as I had not felt Riley move, I had no other signed of FMH, no pain, no bleeding. I was told he had passed away after an ultrasound and I was left by myself and had to ring David whilst he was driving to tell him the news. I was induced that day and had a 3 hour labour. There is more emotion to this story but this is the most important information you need to know before meeting me. Morphine, water broken, 3 hr labour from time of induction with drip.

Labour Plan:

• Please be aware my history and the emotion of having another baby, the anxiety that I have felt this pregnancy is huge and I will need a lot of reassurance and I will not believe that the baby is going to be Ok until I hold her in my arms.

• I do not want to be left in the room alone.

• We are having a girl, we have called her Sunny throughout the pregnancy as Poppy 4yr old insists that is her name. It is kind of fitting, as it will be very Sunny & happy when we get to hold her and bring her home.

• Please advise if drugs or any other procedures are needed, we will make the decision as they come. I am not anti drugs but would like to try and get through without them.

I don’t want to have to explain my history whilst in labour. I would like there to be an understanding for all that enter the room of my history. I really appreciate that you have taken the time to read this and support us.

I gave this sheet of paper to the midwife when I arrived at delivery and told her that it was very important to me that every person that entered the room read this. I didn't want to have to explain anything if I didn't think I could. The midwife was super supportive and the poor student midwife is sure to never forget her first ever delivery.

3. My Mr Wonderful. Communication is not high on the agenda when you are in labour it usually goes like this 'hold your hand there and don't move it, count but count the way that I'm thinking it in my head not that i have actually communicated that with you but I believe that I have used my powers of mental telepathy.1, 2, 3, 4, ,5, 6, 7, 8,8,9, 10 which each breath, slowly to get me through the whole contraction not  1 - 20 fast what on earth are you thinking'. Some how after four kids he gets me and we get each other and we get through it all together.

Then just before Josephine flew into this world who should walk in for a visit; but Prof, must of heard my screaming, I mean counting. The midwife was very surprised it is not often that the Head of Obstetrics comes for a delivery. It really showed me I was in the best care, all this from a public hospital and me being a public patient. Got to love Australia.

You are in my arms finally, we never want to put you down. This really did happen, you are mine forever, we got through it. The relief, the joy, the knowing that you have been chosen to be part of our family. All so overwhelming.
I look at this picture and can imagine my emotions to be holding Josephine. We don't remember me crying like this once she was delivery but this images tells the emotions and I couldn't blog about her birth without this image. This image is the true emotions of what it is like to deliver a rainbow baby and have the love and joy for a new child but still long for your child with you held so briefly.

Daddy's girl, the happiness for it all to be over.

Choir Girl

Monique all year has wanted to join the choir at school but Preppies have not been allowed to join until now. The first week she was late, as I had packed to much lunch for her and she was not allowed in. She came home very upset and told me that the next Tuesday I would have to do better and only pack her a small lunch with no crusts so that she could get there on time. The next Tuesday morning rolled around and she reminded me about the smaller lucnh so that she could make sure she go to choir on time.
She has been remembering and reminding me every Tuesday about her lunch and choir and she take herself off to choir practice at first break, which is at the other end of the school.

A couple of weeks ago she performed at assembly but I missed it not knowing it was her shining moment. I was so sad. This week I made sure I got to assembly just in case she performed again, I slipped in 10 minutes late in which time she didn't perform but got an award for being in the Junior Choir. I missed it again....

The last Tuesday before School broke up Monique had an eye specialist appointment and she was so upset that she might be late for choir practice. I raced back down the freeway from Brisbane to try and get her there on time. Ran into the school grounds and to the music room. NO PRACTICE TODAY.... was I just missing everything at the moment, come on. I did however get to speak to her choir teacher and be praised on how wonderful Monique is and be told that although other Preppies tried to be part of the choir, they all could not keep up and Monique is now the only Preppie in the Choir.

So proud of her that she found something that she wanted to do and kept at it until she was allowed to be part of it.

Wish I had pictures of her in the choir, better luck next year.

A long distance Christmas

Being away from family this Christmas we didn't want to miss out on sharing the joy of the kids opening their Christmas presents. My parents having been up only weeks before Christmas spoilt the girls and they had a heap of presents to open. Each year it is getting harder to make then understand who has given them what, and for them to get a true understanding of what Christmas is all about when they are swamped with presents for us and family.

So this year we did presents from my parents on Christmas Eve (via Skype) and then presents from Santa on Christmas morning. I love Skype, I wish everyone would jump on board the skype train, it is awesome to be able to keep in touch with my neices and nephews when they are all over the country. The girls love to get on Skype and talk to family which we otherwise wouldn't see. My neices in Tassie have been able to show me their chickens and other fun things around their house thanks to skype and although I haven't seen the Tassie family for a couple of years it doesn't feel that way, as I see them on the computer all the time.

Heres to a very Skype Christmas

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

End of year awards

Monique School Special Award Ceremony - I missed this but Dave and my parents were able to be there to see Monique get the Academic Achievement award for Prep. This award is given to the most academic student in each year and it is decided by all the teacher in that year. There are 4 prep classes so I'm super proud of Monique for achieving this award. I was still in hospital (the first time) when the award ceremony was on. We knew that she would be getting an award but didn't know what she would be getting.

About Me

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I'm a stay at home mum to three beautiful girls and one angel boy which inspire me to be a better person every day. My Blog is about our life and suviving the up and downs of raising a family and the love and loss that come along for the journey.